Revelation

Sometimes we realize truths that we previously had written off or just been completely oblivious to. Then there comes the day we finally understand that the ignorance of our own actions is no way to live. Why live in denial? We NEED to confront our negative proclivities before then turn into destructive habits. It is an ugly business to try and face yourself in these situations, and sometimes self-deprecating activity is our only salvation. Do it too much and you may face depression, or self-esteem issues. [Wow, whatever topic I start out writing about turns complicated the moment I try to cover the entire thing.] Once you start talking about depression there are mental health issues that inevitably come into play. A downward spiral is dangerous and not until my current employ have I been so involved with mental health issues. I attempt to understand each day by looking at medical records how people with mental health problems live each day. Difficulty. Can you imagine having to work each day just to keep yourself from breaking down, try harder than anything just to complete a normal day without interference from mental instability. Think about all the different activities that would be affected. just waking up in the morning and getting out of bed with depression is a chore many succumb to. Those with panic, anxiety, or agoraphobic issues are likely afflicted with a disease that prevents regular interaction with other people and social functioning. Difficulty. That is a mild way to phrase that situation. Well, whatever the meaning of this post it should be extracted from this enigmatic rant. Good luck my friends.

summer law clerk

So I got lucky this summer and have been working for a small firm in downtown at a PAID summer law clerk position. It is not in a field I orginally anticipated joining or even knew existed really but that is besdes the point. I once heard that "if it don't make dollars then it don't make sense." I undertand the appeal of the unpaid internship position. Believe me, I have been doing them steadily since Junior year of college! Anyways, getting paid to do something is really uncomprable in the grand scheme of things in my eyes. Once someone has wanted your employ so mightily that they are paying you, out of their own pocket and especially someone who is still in school, then that speaks for itself really. So, honestly I have no complaints and could not be happier. I will also be continuing through the school year which is another added plus, and also looks good on the resume as being able to handle both a job and schoolwork. I have said it before and I will say it again, I am going to working extrememly hard but it is well worth the reward of a solid career in the future. Peace.

Do something positive everyday

Thank you Buckshot, what a great line. The concept of course is that everyday we should make ourselves a little better, or make our world a little better. If only we all had the same view of "better" and worked in unison to make that "better" universal. My con law professor calls those "scare quotes" when used to mock the usage of word that defies the original or most well-used definition. That holds true here because idealistic views about where to place our energy are just fantasies of grandeur so to speak. I would like to say something like that is realistic but honestly, freedom of choice and the "pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness" are too important. People are free to put their energy to whatever they want, but sometimes, just sometimes those values true to socialistic states where people work for the common good, usually referred to as hippie communes in modern society, look to be utopian societies. Our society has a lot of problems but boasts unique characteristics that are not possible without the system in place. I'd like to believe that we have taken the best system historically available and tweaked it until it is as close to perfect as possible, but who wants perfect. Today I was reminded that perfection is boring, and while I have gotten so far off track now than I wanted to I think of my blog as more of a stream of consciousness than a literary publication. We should do positive, because freely choose to do it! Is it likely, probably not, especially in a capitalistic society but we can always do some positive to try and get closer to it.

Working towards...

Where we end up....is that where we intended to be? So when I see some guy working the corporate grind, bored out of his mind, 2 kids, 1 dog, white picket fence should I NOT be envious? I feel like that is what I am working towards, I want to work normal hours and have a 9-5 job(for an attorney those hours are amazing). Is that wrong? Society has told us to work towards our dreams but Hollywood has turned that dream into a joke. Maybe the "recession" is making the mediocre American life seem more appealing but I strive toward that "mediocrity". I put it in quotes because I believe that it is becoming more desirable to have constant employment at a company that allows you to start at a normal time and leave at a similarly normal time. Mediocrity. Build your dreams up and land where you always thought you would be looking down upon. Cynical you say? Probably, but can you blame me? Did we grow up thinking unemployment would reach all time highs? That the financial sector would be overrun with unethical business practices, putting greed at an all time high? Still, I am excited to start my legal career, in whatever field I end up in and with all the hope an naivety in the world. Here's to those naive, yet optimistic ideals!

Be Thankful

More reasons to be thankful this holiday season. I have seen the bottom, I have talked with those who are down and out, and it makes me see things differently. I see that my life, no matter how bad it may seem at times, is not nearly as bad as those who are incarcerated. These people have been stripped of their freedom for past transgressions of the law. Do they deserve where they are? That is a topic for another day. Today, the point is that we should all appreciate the fact that we are able to come and go as we please to do what we want without restriction, and to be free. That basic privilege is one that not many have considered and those who are in "the system" are usually not new-comers. I rarely see people who have unblemished records and it saddens me to think that these people are doing life sentences on the installment plan. I fight everyday to keep people free and to allow those who have been wrongly convicted to aquit themselves in a court of law. So be happy that you are not my client and that you are free this Thanksgiving. Also do not break the law! haha it goes without saying I guess but it really is not worth it and the government will make sure that will always be true.

inception

I JUST saw the movie today and it was great! I loved that there was this simple concept Hollywood turned into such an entertaining movie. Usually movies are dumbed down to appeal to the masses but every once in a while a truly intellectually stimulating film slips through the fine tooth comb of the movie brass. Either that or no one can write a half decent script that is both believable enough to get into without realizing that you are in a movie theater every 2 minutes or they are too inconsistent to follow one plotline from beginning to end.
I digress, however this movie came to be I enjoyed it and would recommend it to people who have ever thought about dreams, wondered about the subconscious mind, or considered the possibility of confusing reality and other states of mind. This subject is a personally intriguing one which I have always been interested in exploring. Just think, we could be living in some alternate reality right now and be totally unaware of it. It's enough to make you crazy if you are not completely sure whether you are dreaming or not, which is what I feel like it would be like if you had mental illnesses which altered your mind to such a degree. In other words if I couldn't tell, or wasn't sure I would be a crazy person! Any creative medium be it msuic, speech, writings, artistic creations, or otherwise that invoke the kind of thought that I expereinced today should be celebrated and shared with anyone who has ever had these thoughts, who's interested in exploring our being and concerns themselves with trying to understand life as we know it. "call me Plato, I philosophy" - Guerilla Black in Compton

What do you do when you get knocked down?

The correct answer is get back up, right?

Probably, but right and wrong is of course a matter of perception. Anyways, the point is that we do what we need to in order to survive. Most of us will feel a sense of vulnerability, that something can have such a powerful effect on us. That there could be an event, or series of events that would detract from our current situation to the point that we feel the sting of desparation. Desparate to be back to the way things were and to fill this void in our once full being with the things that once gave us no trouble but we now find troublesome to a degree that was once unimaginable. If this sounds overdramatic just shrug it off but if you've ever been knocked down, kicked, smacked off your daily "normal" routine and spun down the downward spiral of insecurity-OK so that was a little heavy, but when you are in the heat of the moment, when things get bad it's how we respond afterward taht shows us that we are better than that, that we can handle that sitaution and that having gone through the situation once we can get through a similar situation or difficulty with more restraint and hope than the first time. Isn't that the point? Who knows...live how you live and do what makes you happy! Within reason of course...you crazy kids out there.