Happy Holidays

Wow there is so much joy and cheer and all that goes with the season of giving. Is that true? I really don't feel any joy cheer or any of the like. People have never been colder, the world requires us to be cold, to be tough, and to have a thick skin. Maybe that is just my negative half empty kind of view of the world or maybe it is true. There are the random few who are truly nice people, truly care about their fellow human beings and would go out of their way to help, to give something to someone in need. I admit that I too am guilty of turning a cold shoulder to those who may be in need more than I, and I may even be in possession of the means to help them. Its not like I have a lot of money or things to just give away. I have enough, nothing more for the most part. Its difficult to give things up when we become accustomed to them such as...TV. But then again, it is my belief that certain entertainment IS a necessary part of some people's lives. Life is stressful enough do we really want to take away the things that help them relax. It's true that TV for example is NOT a necessity, I know that it is irrelevant to everyday life and we would not wither up and die if TV was never invented. My argument is that our society requires some leisure activities, of which TV has become the ultimate one. There are those who do not watch TV but they are less informed about modern societal activities unless they are an avid internet user who is constantly researching modern fashions, trends, and current events as well. That's why we look at people without a TV as a little different. After a day of school I need to unwind, to watch something that doesnt require brainpower but stmulates me above sitting there staring at the wall. TV to me is a necessary part of life, I dont need to watch it but if I didnt have it and everyone else did there would be a problem. I wold be bored!! Maybe I would start reading or get a hobby haha wat amn I saying? Who knows this wasn't well thought out...o well

No more finals...now what?

In no particular order things I want to/need to do:
1) Summer Job Hunt
2) Xmas Shopping(well maybe this is first)
3) Recover
4) Prepare to do it all over again next semester
5) Golf????
6) Go home and celebrate the holidays
7) Probably some other stuff too...

The Rain

I love the rain, it makes everything wet but its so peaceful and natural. I actually look forward to rainy days. You can stay inside and be warm when it is pouring outside, sit on the couch and watch tv and listen to the sounds of the rain. It is perfect for the moment because I need to study so wont be going outside anytime soon. However, it is fun to go out in the rain too I remember playing soccer in the rain and I loved it, just letting go of the worry of getting wet and just really letting go. Being all muddy and soaked to the core when the game was over but not really caring. I've heard that you can catch a cold like that but dont really care. Things grow in the rain, its a free car wash and a clean slate falling water makes me feel lke things are starting anew, springtime and new life. We need rain and I love it.

The studying continues...

Nothing else is going on...literally nothing. Wow, this past week has really been taking forever I sleep late in hopes that the day will go faster but studying all day everyday really takes its toll on you after a while. On to the holidays though, trying to think of better times and not just make this a rant and complaining blog. However, I dont have time to Xmas shop until the 17th and I dont have time to kick it with any of my friends until then either. I cant wait though a few weeks of no actual studying, well, I probably will have to study some. Its relentless, really school starts again on Jan 11th! I guess I have to take what I can get as far as breaks go, and I get to start crim law next semester something that seems interesting as far as all the lawyer and crime shows go. for some reason I think I will be disapppointed though. I live for the days of hanging out with my friends and seeing people I truly want to see. A week and two days thats it! Peace easy.

finals!

Class is over what is next?? Well 4 finals, but there is this dead time between them where you are supposed to study hard and learn everything that you didnt during the semester. I have considered myself a good test taker but this studying is killing me, I feel like I have seen this all before and I have and I know that I need to work hard and I try, i really try but there us just something in me that wont let me concentrate for more than a few hours at a time. If i was getting pad or given a task to do that would be my sole focus but because studying is this combination of material that is synthesized into one answer I really do not see myself finding the key being a good studier anytime soon. My philosphy has always been to learn it the first time around but I realize that with material this complicated and intricate that sometimes the first time around is not enough to learn the complete semesters worth of material. However, the way that I study has always been somewhat effective, Ive made it this far havent I? Am i stressing out? Maybe a little, more bored than anything and getting the depression from other areas of life, because I feel like my activities are so one-dimensional that I am wasting my youth, or what I have left of it, on school. In a sense, its true, gotta be more upbeat and friendly, my goals for the week. Thats not me though, i mean Im friendly enough but need to be aroudn the right people t truly be myself. I need to overcome my quietness or something damn I really am wiggin out, cant sleep, cant study, fuck this...cant wait til the 17th then I get to do this over next semester

The Next Day

After the last class of the semester I cant help but look back at the past few months and believe that it was much much longer. We are subject to our surrounding s and life moves just as fast as we think it does. How can we fast forward through the things we dont like to get to the things we do? The good with the bad? Makes sense to me, punishment to get to the rewards, go through hell to get to heaven? but why does it have to be that way? Is hard work necessary to get something we truly desire? In most cases the hard work increases the percentage of getting what we truly desire yet, there are occasions in which good things come to those who do nothing to deserve their achievements, barely work in order to make their dreams become reality. I shard work necessary? Depends on what you want...but in most cases we are not perfectly suited to achieve our goals in the state in which we are born, and our goals require bettering ourselves to the amount neceassary to achieve. Right. Believe at your own risk...

Last day of class!

Is there a better feeling than completion? Completion of my first semester classes, not exams mind you but from now on its all review, so I'm counting it. Gotta finish my paper tomorrow for GLS and one class on Tues to make up for the holiday but then its study study study until exam day(s). So what has it been like? Everyone deals with the workload and stresses of law school in a different way. I think that my most effective strategy was alcohol sadly. I drank more this semester than I thought I would, mostly in moderation but there were definitely a few days lately things have been a little fuzzy. Anyways, studying all night after being at school all day it makes you self-medicate find a way to relax, I usually study in my apartment and being cooped up here all day really takes its toll. But 1L is ALMOST halfway over!! Goddamn it feels good to be ALMOST done. See ya after exams I will be hibernating in a study cave until Dec. 17th. PEACE EASY!!

Time Flies...

It has been a while since my last post. How time flies when ur...well I guess you don't have to be having fun. The feelings have been building up inside me these weeks of law school the hell that has become my life. To be fair though hell is a little strong my life is just devoid of play. All work and no play can make life c-rAAAAAzaaayyy.
Time...flies...by...no words no emotions keep me grounded make me sound smart in a world of academia. The prudent person will find parallels in all parts of life however the law is always right is always how it is, how do you find analogous situations in a perfect system, one which by its own creation and implementation does not make mistakes in the end. Appeals get corrected and if a judgment is not appealed it is assumed correct. Overturning previous law never makes the previous common law incorrect at the time it was judged. How do you find symbolic meaning in life of this system? Every law show makes lawyers out to be walking contradictions upholding a systemof law they believe is flawed but swearing by every inch of them that ethics, morals and justice outweigh all other concerns. They will do anything for what they believe is right, and I admire the convictions of those strong enough to uphold them in the face of doubt, whether they understand that doubt or not. Law school is...wow what a statement to simplify the system into a few words really feels wrong. I need to record my thoughts for the past 8 weeks to accurately describe the law school appearnace. Lately I have been more aware of the feeling out process...everyone is trying to see who is the smartest or looking around attempting to win the ego contest with answers in class, studying, and understanding of the law. This expression of mind begins to unwind the stresses I have been accumulating bur only further tensions will continue the inner agony and turmoil of free thought and constant struggle to find how its supposed to be, and what to do with that information. Really?...maybe...the best answer there is because without certainty nothing is right, living in doubt gives rise to spontaneity one of my favorite things.

2nd week

I have become a weekly blogger which is not a completely terrible theng but there is just not enough in my daily life to blog about. I go to school, workout/swim, eat and study, then sleep. It really is not that interesting to the outsider but everyday I learn so much about the law and myself that it seems new and almost exciting. I say almost because it is still school and nuances that accompany that association seem bland. Bar review is an interesting concept and an almost necessary end of the week event in which the busy law student can unwind. Study hard, play hard is a maxim most seem to live by. This law school thing is a marathon not a sprint I keep telling myself and I have only gotten through 2 weeks of this things with a lot left to do. Looking too far ahead can make you crazy but staying on top of your current week's work will make you sane again(and make you look like you know what you are talking about in class). On to the next week, learning and thinking, keeping my head straight, studying and studying, trying to do what I need to. See ya soon, gotta keep goin and making it work for me.

First week

Dear Diary, it is 9:30 Thursday night and I feel close enough to the end of my first week of law school to taste it. There are many reasons which I am grateful this week is ending but the most important is survival. I survived the first week! Its like going to high school again, new schools are new schools i met a few cool people and got a general idea of what the next 3 years are going to be like. 3 years...so to break it down for everyone who is wondering what my week has een like. The professors are not only entertaining but are intelligent and not afraid to show it off. There are a certiain numer of my classmates who take the opportunity to try and prove they can speak at every moment the teacher is not. They find solace in trying to raise their hand and be called on more than any other student. They read the material and want no wait need everyone to hear their opinions and hypotheticals on every issue we discuss. Not that I am annoyed or anything but I mean sometimes I am just starting to understand the concepts being explained and someone will raise their hand and beg to be called on in hopes of eliminating any semblance of a rhythm the class was getting into.
Finally kicking back and relaxing, without a care that tomorrow I will be tested on material I am not familiar with. However, as long as I do all my work and understand most of it that can't happen. Law school doesnt seem so bad so far, but it is the first week, reading the material is long and agonizing when the cases are out of date and in ancient language but it can be done. Until next week I will be studying my ass off all weekend to get ready do it all again for next week.

Busy busy

I have been busy settling in and getting aquainted to Sac my apt and everything else I need to get used to that i havent spent time on my blog at all. Hmmm...I hope I didnt keep you in suspense but orientation was cool. it really was just a way to meet classmates before actually going to class. I met some interesting and nice people everyone was really nice actually but I guess you cant expect otherwise upon first impressions. I like the campus it seems laid back and chill everyone is there for the same reason, to study of course. The work has all been assigned and i just finished my last reading of first day material so that should technically last me til wednesday. haha case briefing really is tough i would suggest anyone to start earlier than I did and brief your heart out so you have some inkling of what you will be doing in school. However, it i shard to brief without instruction on doing so and im sure every school will have different expectancies on your briefing abilities. Anyways lots of reading and briefing to come. I like how animated and exciting all the teachers seem and I am already worried about a summer internship as it seems like its getting harder and harder for those of us in the legal profession to gain that all important experience. Anyways, the apartment situation is actually giving me more grief than the school thing, well maybe about the same. Its lonely living by yourself for the most part, I had to come home this weekend to get a good nights sleep, it is hot up there in sac. Makes you think how much of your time you spend actually working and how much is used to play, now most of mine is work barely an play. Just gotta endure, 3 years left only 13 weeks left in the semester. HAHA damn wat have I gotten myself into, this is supposed to be fun! Maybe it will be...stay tuned

Final Day at Home

The time has come and it is very real now. Tomorrow I move to my new apartment and hopefully don't look back. I finished my briefs for orientation on Wednesday next week and plan to do the rest of my reading next week sometime between getting acquainted and figuring out my brand spanking new life. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow everything is always happening tomorrow or the next day. Well not for me it is all happening right now and I want it to go nice and slow 25, 26, even 27 hours to a day. That sounds like some time manipulation but really its more a frame of mind. Slowing down and savoring the experience for what it is and not agonizing over the difficulty of it all or attempting denial of where and what we are.
I might be moving out but really it is a temporary living arrangement and not one of true independence yet. However, it will be nice to have my own hours and personal space and I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited about being my own roommate. This year is going to be some kind of experience, and I am finally excited enough to begin to enjoy it.

New City, New Rules

Today was the day, the dream became real today. I moved some of my belongings into my apartment in the Capital(of CA, of course!). It was a long and exciting day of new things, new apartment, new city, new carpet(they just finished putting it in when I got there, new school, new cleaning supplies, new bed(they are expensive new!), and many other new things that just aren't that notable.

New classes and books were the real steps forward today. I found out which section I will be in this upcoming year and the schedule of my classes this semester. Also I bit the bullet and purchased all my textbooks from the campus bookstore. It was quite a hefty price but then again all this new is costing me a lot of old green. Serious money is going into this year and I don't expect it to change in the next three at all. However, the experience and excitement that I am getting right now realy defies any price tag. Finally I feel that rush of new beginnings and am straight juiced about the situation I am going into. I am Exhausted from all the running around I did today but the anticipation leading up to this day came flowing out of me in droves.

On a more somber note I found out my teachers and classes today and bought my books. yes, thats the same thing I was excited about but also the thing I am nervous about because with that began my first real coursework towards a degree in law. I have started briefing my first cases which is mandatory for the orientation program next week. It is only three cases but I am taking it very seriously I only have a week left to do them anyways!!! Geez, but I also got my books and found out that some of the assignments for the first week have been posted online. I quickly printed out this page, I want to start off right this time, new school, new rules. I have to study my brains out and go beyond what I expect I am able to achieve. This is no undergrad program that I can skate through I need to work and prove my metal against some of the top students in the area. One side of me is saying what have I gotten myself into and the other is screaming Go, go, rock this shizzz!!

Materialism

Looking around in my home it seems that everything I have was purchased at one time or another. We as Americans are such huge consumers of goods, both good and bad. a lifetime of purchasing things and and receiving gifts begin to clutter our lives and our homes until we are forced to either trash the commodities we once felt obligated to buy or recycle, give them away, or find other places to keep them(an attic or garage closet, maybe even a storage unit). It is this overwhelming urge to spend on those extra things we have grown accustomed to as Americans, a people of excess.
Lawyers are supposed to have expensive cars, clothes, houses, and the rest, a life of luxury basically. How can we break the addiction for material goods, it pretty much is ingrained into us from the moment we are born that success equals things. Success can be measured on many levels but in its most basic and true form success involves meeting goals and getting where you want to go in a career sense of course. In a society which puts so much emphasis on money, materials, and excess there is little room for morality, righteousness, and charity. This unfortunate truth scares me to death as someone who is entering a field that is based upon morality and righteousness and all too often is associated with a materialism and excess and skirting ethic behavior in favor of enhancing material wealth. While looking at all these facts now I have made a small goal of my own, which is to use every ethical and moral fiber of my being to avoid such pitfalls and to do soemthing with my career that I feel morally and ethically successful, with material wealth being inconsequential. Let's see what happens...

A torrent of activity

Maybe it is human nature but procrastinating is a way of life for some people. Me being one of them, maybe it is laziness maybe it is just a preference but doing nothing until the last minute is something I have become accustomed to on many levels. Every week that goes by is one less I have to prepare and to adjust to the new lifestyle that I will have to acclimate myself to. However, there has been little physical activity besides getting my things together and organizing which furniture items I will be taking and which will be left for another day. Mentally though, I am psyching myself out as best I can by telling myself that this will be the hardest thing I ever do, that no matter what I thought was hard before that looking back this will be the most difficult. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically taxing, OK so not spiritually but all the others will be tested, retested, and tested some more. The sanity and calm I feel at this moment is slowly being taken, slowly morphing into a torrent of activity. I need to make sure I am financially ready to pay for school, as well(one that I wish I could forget). Having been told over and over how much I will be expected to work and to study I feel that up until now people have been easy on me. My college professors asked things of me and I gave them enough to get by and never really took a vested interest in what i was learning until I worked at the law office and everything there was new and exciting. All the new cases held a certain wonder about the outcome and the circumstances upon which they came to be. Interesting, that is the word I would say, for maybe the first time about academic material, appropriately surmised my feelings. This is why I am doing what I am doing and why I believe I have made the right choice in going to law school. It feels good to finally admit that to myself and to have a reason that makes sense to me, the most important person to convince.

T-minus 14

2 weeks, an amount of time that is just long enough to say 2 weeks, eh I got time but in big changes like the one I am about to go through 2 weeks is like 2 minutes. Time goes fast when we are having fun as the saying goes but how do you relax and have fun when there is this much to look forward to. A career path, life change, and total reinvention of yourself as a person. Right now I am a college graduate, a modest accomplishment that is gaining less and less significance in the general society. However, a law school degree, especially one from a school people have heard of(not that mine is) goes from oh, you graduated college, to wow you graduated from law school!
Have I always been a lawyer in waiting or has my life path altered to include the study of law? It really is interesting to consider how we have come to be where we are and most of the time there are no real answers to questions of that nature. When looking back on my life and seeing where I've been and where I am going leaves much to be desired. I prefer riding the waves created by dipping my hand into the pool of life. The truth of the matter is that this pond is more of a whirlpool with people swirling in every direction and their paths crossing without the notion of how their actions may effect others. However, as I get so philosophical(as I always do) I regress to the simple truth that law school is my future, no matter how it has become the reality of the situation for me. I hope to make the most of it, going in with a positive yet cautious attitude to avoid the pitfalls law students of every caliber face during their legal careers(and I'm sure these are numerous). Right now they are just wishful thoughts but with any luck and of course hard work(that one's easy to forget) I can make them the reality of my past.

Objectives and Reasons

Objectives: The objective of this blog is mainly to publicly tell my story about law school from the student perspective. Hopefully I have time to update as often as possible(once a day ideally). The other objective is to release all the feeling and thoughts I have inside me. It really makes me feel better to write things and creatively express myself. Also, with all that is going to be happening it may make for an interesting narrative of events.

Reasons: The main reason I wanted to write this is for myself, not only the aforementioned objective of getting things off my chest but maybe also to let my family and friends join me in my journey throughout the maze of law school.

Today's update: I am feeling anxious still about the future as I have been for the past month or so. However, living out on my own again is going to be good. I have been living with my parents for the past year and my patience is wearing thin. It will be nice to have my own rules and own hours(I came home at 10 o'clock today and everyone was asleep). Living in Sacramento will be like if I had gone to Davis for undergrad as I was planning to after high school. It is close enough to home for weekend trips and far enough away that my parents, well, it is pretty close I hope they won't drop in unexpectedly. I am sure that they are happy that I am going to be as close as I am which honestly I like, the older I get the more I want my parents to be happy, I am a pain and sometimes they deserve something for putting up with me. That is my painful self-revelation of the day.

My First Post

Although I have been blogging for some time now about philosophical topics, it just occurred to me that keeping a blog or journal for law school would be beneficial not only for me but to all those out there who may stumble across my poorly written bumbling thoughts in their journey down a similar path. So here it is, my first post. Although I am yet to attend a class, meeting, or orientation session law school already seems hard. The horror stories I have heard combined with those I have not swirling throughout the cavity under my skull where a brain is supposed to be. It is absent right now, I am absent minded. It's summer a time to be free and wild to do whatever it is you want to. Everyone seems to think that I need this time and even the blurbs I have read on 0L summer say to some degree that you should just relax and enjoy the time you have. I am doing that but have the unexplainable urge to return to work to accomplish tasks and start moving towards my ultimate goal of graduating law school, passing the bar,and getting a job. When it is all in one sentence it seems so matter of fact, so simple and straightforward.
What have I done this summer to prepare? Really, nothing at all and as law school approaches like a speeding train unprepared is an understatement to how I feel about the experience. What am I supposed to do really, read as much about law as I can? How about study casebooks? Well, I am under the impression that over the next three years(as I say it now it already sounds long) there will be so much reading and studying that the little bit i do before school starts will be inconsequential. I have been playing golf, a game I recently have been taking seriously and working hard to get better at. Furthermore, I shot my best score ever of 84 a few weeks ago. The thinking that goes on over each shot and the concentration, focusing on getting the ball from one spot to the next. The comradery of the guys side by side in the cart, laughing talking and playing a sport that brings them that much closer. Artistically, it is a beautiful game that I could talk all day about and that is the point in talking about it. It takes my mind off the upcoming dread sure to be faced and gives me goals, obstacles , and something to work on whole-mindedly. That has been my preparation, and here's to it's success.